Start Writing Fiction - Activity 5

I am now whizzing (haven't said that word in years!) through the start writing fiction module on the OU open learn website and am really benefiting from it. I have now completed Activity 5 which precedes a section discussing different ways of creating characters such as using yourself in an autobiographical style.

Activity 5:
'Imagine a character very like you but give him or her a dramatic external alteration. Write a brief character sketch in which you reveal the Character's appearance; their feelings about it, and their current circumstances. Use a third person narrative.'

I glanced at the clock; 5am. Sam lay on his side beside me breathing lightly. Even in his sleep he is overly conscious of my comfort and health, being careful not to take up too much room in our Super King size bed.

Another kick.  Deep in to the ribs this time. At least the sickness has stopped now, I have never been good at being sick, even as an adult tears involuntarily stream down my cheeks as I vomit.

I am finding it impossible to sleep. I feel and look the size of a whale, the skin on my stomach itchy as it stretches to accommodate the baby within. Stretch marks have already begun to appear, which I have grown to love but at the same time I frantically lather on layers and layers of baby oil to try and prevent more from appearing. I am excited to be a mother, but I am a wife and a lover too. I owe it to Sam, to me, to try to retain some of my hour glass figure which he fell in love with.

I have been a bit naughty here and have gone slightly older then my current age, looking at my life in about 10 years time. I have chosen a scene where I am heavily pregnant and unable to sleep and again have tried to show the reader this rather than tell them. Overall I think it is pretty good, but have literally only just noticed I wrote it in a first person narrative! This seriously backs up my previous post that I am more comfortable in writing in the first person. I will have a go at writing in the third person instead. Here is my attempt at writing it in the third person:

Josie glanced at the clock; 5am. Sam lay on his side beside her breathing deeply. Even in his sleep he is overly conscious of her comfort and health, being careful not to take up too much room of their super king size bed.

Josie winced at another kick, this time it was deep in to her ribs. The sickness had stopped thankfully; she was always a wimp when she threw up, with tears instantly streaming down her face involuntarily.

She had been finding it impossible to sleep recently. With only a month to go the baby had become extremely active, performing high kicks in her womb and punching her in the ribs. To Sam, she looked beautiful, in a way only the mother of his first child could. When Josie looked in the mirror, she saw a gigantic mass, unable to see her toes she quickly empathised with her sister who used to moan that she looked the size of a whale whilst she was pregnant.

Josie ran her fingers over the ridges on the skin of her stomach. She had tried to prevent these stretch marks through layers of baby oil, advice from her sister which hadn’t worked. She loved them of course, seeing them as a symbol of her motherhood, but she and Sam enjoyed a very physical relationship and she was keen to maintain some of her hourglass figure which he fell in love with.

I definitely found this more challenging and also kept having to check which tense I was writing in. I think the third person reads more like fiction though? Maybe I have over used her name a little too. Dean says it is more descriptive and he prefers it.

I will keep working through the activities and keep you posted, feel free to have a go too!