Insecurities

So, here's my concern: what if writing talent is like most talents, you either have it or you don't?

I am really struggling with the travel writing course, everyone else seems to be better than me? I'm no longer sure that I can actually be good at this. I love it and want to do it and know that like anything practise makes perfect. I'm just not sure I have it in me to be better.

I am researching continously ways to improve my writing. I am reading 'How To' books which include writing styles and grammar basics. I am researching travel articles to improve my understanding of good travel writing. Yet, every time I write something it just comes out all cheesy and flawed.

I suspect the problem is that I haven't found my writer's voice yet and combining that with my hard core impatience is making me feel insecure.

This is why my ambitions change so often; I give up as soon as I think I won't be good at something.

I am going to keep trying, I have to complete the course anyway.

Re-write Feedback (sucks)

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's back to school I go!

Ok, so the feedback from my re-write submission was not good. The main issue? My appauling grammar!

So I've just bought two highly rated books on grammar and writing styles and plan to learn all the rules. Apparently this is quite common amongst writers so I don't feel too bad. It is really annoying though.

I refuse to be disheartened. I saw a great motivator the other day on the 'Proes before Woes' which definitely deserves a re-post:

This is so true. I refuse to give up!

I will let you know how I get on with the new books; 'The Little Red Writing Book' which apparently is similar to The Elements of Style classic but is more focused on writing style. Plus 'Improve your Punctuation and Grammar: Master the essentials of the English Language and Write with Greater Confidence',

The Degree Plan

As you have probably worked out by now, I am very busy at the moment. I am doing two courses at once, planning and arranging the necessities to go travelling in September and also trying to maintain some form of a social life!

I re-wrote the assignment which I am just going to give you a link to. I think it is way better but am now waiting for the feedback on it.

http://staceyelaine.matadoru.com/

I have started the art section of my OU course and it is actually going really well. It is a good memory exercise as there are so many terms to remember! I am used to hearing composition, horizon etc etc but now I am learning a whole new world of terms such as colour value, pictorial space and picture planes! Trying to use all of those in an essay is going to be an interesting and probably seriously confusing experience.

I haven't done many more writing exercises recently to be honest as I have just been writing in my journal quite a lot and finding that the travel writing assignments are good practise anyway.

Unsurprisingly I have considered changing my mind again about doing OU courses whilst I travel. At this point in time we genuinely have no idea how long we will be away for, it may be for 1.5 years or 2.5 years or longer if we decide to go to additional places. I have found in the OU study rules that I can still be eligible to do courses and pay UK fees if I am working out of the UK. This is only for a maximum of 3 years but still opens up new possibilities for me. I have worked out I can do at least 3 modules during that time which will aid my writing skills and do not have end of year exams. These are the compulsory arts past and present module followed by the two creative writing modules. It will cost a lot less money too and ensure I am still eligible for the cheaper fees if we decide to come back to the UK. I am still going to wait until I have finished my current OU course before I make a decision and I have until August before registration closes which gives me more time.

The other option is an Australian OU degree in Publishing and Journalism which would tie in well with my travel writing. One thing is for sure, I am definitely going to have a degree by the time I am 30! Here's to the 5 year plan :)

First Travel Writing Assignment

First travel writing assignment was submitted on Monday! I tried to be as descriptive as possible but then ended up sounding like I was a 50 year old writing a classic novel. It was not good, but ditching the ego, here it is:

Broughton is a large village, appearing dreary with its 1950s houses surrounding its centre. Locals of course know the secrets contained within; beautiful English countryside and heritage buildings located at the back of the village, hidden from prying eyes.

I am sat sunbathing in my parent’s crowded back garden, small but typically sized for the terraced red brick house we live in. There are many gardens like this in my village, containing a combination of garden furniture, vegetable patches and flowers along with a variety of animals.

“You shouldn’t have your laptop in the sun” calls Dean my boyfriend. I am cramming in some last minute work on my University assignment and was hoping to finish it before he arrived, but too late. Dean brings with him a need of fun especially during this long overdue heat wave and so abandoning my assignment we decide to go for a walk through my home village.

We exit my street and cross over Wellingborough road to the kissing gate located at the end of the village. Pushing through, we enter in to a trio of grassy fields usually home to the local cows.  I gasp, never before have I seen the fields like this before, they are covered in bright yellow buttercups; a vision of yellow and green polka dots. A rural landscape lies beyond with woodland, farmland and a local town visible in the distance under a clear blue sky. We continue through the fields until we reach a dusty pebbled farm track. “Are you sure you want to go down here? If you are too hot we can just go back through the village?” I ask Dean, but keen to discover Broughton’s secret he reassures me to go on.

It is not long before we reach a steep grassy hill, leading us down to a little stream which is shrouded in woodland; my favourite spot as a child. Welcoming the cool shade, we cross over a small wooden bridge on to a mud path which leads us through the trees; I tell Dean stories of playing here in my childhood. I divert left, with Dean following me I meander my way though the thick shrubbery, being careful to avoid the high nettles. Following a narrow track we climb further into the wood. Suddenly a gap in the trees reveals our destination; a natural spring flows into a large pond of cool turquoise water. The view is wonderful; due to the late summer there are still spring flowers, snowdrops and bluebells, and we take some time to rest on an old stone archway which protects the spring. We indulge in nature’s silence; only the trickle of the stream and the calls of sparrows and other summer birds can be heard. The sounds are captivatingly peaceful and calming. Our entertainment comes from an older man with his Alsatian puppy which plays a game of fetch, diving in and out of the crisp cool waters of the pond. We sit in silence, surrounded by nature, admiring Broughton’s best kept secret.

I quickly realised all of my mistakes after a couple of days of stewing over it. It's too cliche, there isn't enough depth to it and the opening is lame. So I am in the middle of a re-write which I hope will be much grittier.

I will post it up once I have submitted it :)

New job title: Trainee Travel Writer!

Decision made! I have now signed up to a twelve week course to become a Travel Writer! This is so exciting, I already want to sign up to the Travel Photography course too! Let's face it the two go hand in hand so it is easy to justify doing both right...?

I have also had my feedback from my second assignment and I passed with flying colours! Yay! The only section I 'just achieved' on was to do with my references which I knew would happen as I wasn't sure about one of my references when I submitted it. I am over the moon! This means I should do really well on my final EMA and will hopefully get a distinction for the whole module :) yay go me!

So, now to the Arts section which I cannot wait for. We are going to London soon so I can use it as an excuse to finally go to the Damian Hirst exhibition which is going to be unbelievable. I can't wait! I am hoping I do well with the Arts section, this is the section I am most looking forwards to and it will be just typical that I am rubbish at it.

We are also getting organised now for travelling. Applying for visas, travel insurance, passports and getting very painful injections... in both arms I might add... at the same time...ouch!

Dean has also decided he wants to be a football coach and has just enrolled on a course to gain his level 1 qualification. This is great news as it means we now both have a good idea of our future careers and should be able to apply these skills in Australia.

I am now going to challenge myself to research as my travel articles as possible to get a good idea of what I need to include in my writing style. I am also hoping to get a new phone asap so I can upload more photos to my posts.

Happy Saturday!
Stace

Travel Writing - New career?

Wahooooo!!! I have found a new wonderfully exciting career.....Travel Writing!!

I thought I would take a look at it as I will be keeping a journal whilst we travel so would be a good idea to see if I could utilise this is any way. I had no idea how easy it could be to have a travel writing career. I found an amazing website partnered by the National Geographic Travel magazine which provides online 12 week courses. Not only does it provide connections to paid travel work but will also improve my own fiction writing, so either way the course will be beneficial.

Myself and dean talked in depth last night about the reality of me studying a 60 credit course whilst we are travelling in September and we both agreed it isn't very realistic at all. I had to accept that my studies would have to be postponed until we came back to the UK, which of course would mean I would have to pay the higher fees.

Now I have found a new way to feed my writing ambition whilst at the same time develop my career towards something much more creative and interesting. I am so excited!

Now can you see why my blog is called indecisive ambition......the career plan changes every month!

Website: http://www.matadoru.com/

Start Writing Fiction - Activity 5

I am now whizzing (haven't said that word in years!) through the start writing fiction module on the OU open learn website and am really benefiting from it. I have now completed Activity 5 which precedes a section discussing different ways of creating characters such as using yourself in an autobiographical style.

Activity 5:
'Imagine a character very like you but give him or her a dramatic external alteration. Write a brief character sketch in which you reveal the Character's appearance; their feelings about it, and their current circumstances. Use a third person narrative.'

I glanced at the clock; 5am. Sam lay on his side beside me breathing lightly. Even in his sleep he is overly conscious of my comfort and health, being careful not to take up too much room in our Super King size bed.

Another kick.  Deep in to the ribs this time. At least the sickness has stopped now, I have never been good at being sick, even as an adult tears involuntarily stream down my cheeks as I vomit.

I am finding it impossible to sleep. I feel and look the size of a whale, the skin on my stomach itchy as it stretches to accommodate the baby within. Stretch marks have already begun to appear, which I have grown to love but at the same time I frantically lather on layers and layers of baby oil to try and prevent more from appearing. I am excited to be a mother, but I am a wife and a lover too. I owe it to Sam, to me, to try to retain some of my hour glass figure which he fell in love with.

I have been a bit naughty here and have gone slightly older then my current age, looking at my life in about 10 years time. I have chosen a scene where I am heavily pregnant and unable to sleep and again have tried to show the reader this rather than tell them. Overall I think it is pretty good, but have literally only just noticed I wrote it in a first person narrative! This seriously backs up my previous post that I am more comfortable in writing in the first person. I will have a go at writing in the third person instead. Here is my attempt at writing it in the third person:

Josie glanced at the clock; 5am. Sam lay on his side beside her breathing deeply. Even in his sleep he is overly conscious of her comfort and health, being careful not to take up too much room of their super king size bed.

Josie winced at another kick, this time it was deep in to her ribs. The sickness had stopped thankfully; she was always a wimp when she threw up, with tears instantly streaming down her face involuntarily.

She had been finding it impossible to sleep recently. With only a month to go the baby had become extremely active, performing high kicks in her womb and punching her in the ribs. To Sam, she looked beautiful, in a way only the mother of his first child could. When Josie looked in the mirror, she saw a gigantic mass, unable to see her toes she quickly empathised with her sister who used to moan that she looked the size of a whale whilst she was pregnant.

Josie ran her fingers over the ridges on the skin of her stomach. She had tried to prevent these stretch marks through layers of baby oil, advice from her sister which hadn’t worked. She loved them of course, seeing them as a symbol of her motherhood, but she and Sam enjoyed a very physical relationship and she was keen to maintain some of her hourglass figure which he fell in love with.

I definitely found this more challenging and also kept having to check which tense I was writing in. I think the third person reads more like fiction though? Maybe I have over used her name a little too. Dean says it is more descriptive and he prefers it.

I will keep working through the activities and keep you posted, feel free to have a go too!